I Walk Backwards Into the Future
The Māori (indigenous Polynesian people of New Zealand) have a saying "Kia whakatōmuri te haere whakamua." - "I walk backwards into the future with my eyes fixed on my past."
"This whakataukī or ‘proverb’ speaks to Māori perspectives of time, where the past, the present and the future are viewed as intertwined, and life as a continuous cosmic process. Within this continuous cosmic movement, time has no restrictions – it is both past and present. The past is central to and shapes both present and future identity. From this perspective, the individual carries their past into the future.”
Lesley Kay Rameka
If there was ever a year in which time felt both continuous and recurrent, it was 2020. Some days unravelled, stretching far beyond their normal length. Other days folded into one another, compacting, becoming indiscernible from the others. We all slowly moved into the future. We grew older. Some of us got married, got pregnant, got promoted. And we also stayed crystalized in the past, held back by everything we'd missed out on or lost or lamented. We found ourselves in a new facet of time, pushed forward yet trapped in place. We became tiny back and forth vibrations with energy that had no where to go.
This first month of the new year, I keep returning to the idea of walking backwards into the future. My brain loves concepts like this, because I find them slightly disorienting. Trying to conjure an image of myself walking backward into the future makes my body feel slightly off kilter from my mind, like they've been split into separate planes. It's the same feeling I get when I try to recall a situation or conversation I've had but from the physical point of view of another - instead of remembering how I saw them, I try to picture how they saw me - what I looked like as I spoke, or ate, or walked beside them. Doing this sends a little shock through my system. It's somewhat uncomfortable and a bit scary, but it also jolts me awake.
We often put ourselves into a cycle of "as soon as" - as soon as I make more money, as soon as I lose weight, as soon as I finish this project. Leaving 2020 and approaching the one year mark of living within the confines of a pandemic has heightened this even more so. We all have things we want to do or get back to "as soon as this pandemic is over". But I also try to remember so many times I’ve felt this way in the past, things I deeply hoped for or looked forward to, knowing things would be good as soon as... We’re all always living in one of those “as soon as” scenarios, when we’re finally where we’ve always longed to be, yet we don’t appreciate it because we’re already caught up imagining the next “as soon as”.
These feelings bring me back to the Māori idea of time being interwoven. I try to remind myself that there is no "as soon as" - there's only now. There's only what has happened and from that, what we choose to carry forward or leave behind. There's only what we do next, where we go from where we’ve been.
If you imagine yourself walking backward into the future, what would you carry with you? What would you bring along to share with others? What would you leave behind? What will you do "as soon as"? How will the past year shape your present and future?
MUJI ‘My Bag’ 2020
At the end of last year, MUJI asked me to illustrate the artwork for their holiday tote bag. As a big fan and ardent user of MUJI products, I excitedly accepted.
MUJI is a Japanese brand (Mujirushi Ryōhin, translated as No-Brand Quality Goods) that focuses on minimalism in design, production, and impact. People often know MUJI for their top-notch stationery and pens, but they also making clothing, beauty products, and home goods.
I frequented MUJI quite often when I lived in New York and thankfully a Portland location opened not long after I moved here. I even got to see CEO Masaaki Kanai speak as part of that opening. And that's the store I excitedly visited back in December to see my tote bags in action! They were also available in New York and Boston - big thanks to my friend Jeremy Nguyen for sharing some photos from NYC.
Framed Print Giveaway
I’ll be doing a giveaway of a framed ‘Thing Won’t Always Be The Way They Are Right Now’ print this coming week. As loyal newsletter subscribers, you’ll all be automatically entered! And if you’d like some additional entries, keep an eye on my Instagram, I’ll post more details there in the next few days.
As always, I have prints available via my Society6, which is a great way for me to offer art prints without the hassle of printing and fulfillment myself. Appreciate everyone who has ordered!
Reading, Watching, Listening, Enjoying
Reading:
Homeless Lives Matter by Leo Gnawa
Watching:
Another Round
The Big Short (always worth a re-watch, especially in light of the $GME saga)
Freaks and Geeks
Listening:
Mutual Benefit - Love’s Crushing Diamond
Sun June - Terrified
Ho Yeah! Podcast
Enjoying:
This banger of a Hank Hill TikTok
LONE Incense
Browsing old IKEA catalogs